Christmas Jokes

Christmas Jokes
Contest #2, December Holiday Bonanza
This contest will be played for: 1x Humorsoftware License

How this game is played:
Each member submits their finest jokes, Maximum 2 entries per person.

How this game is won:
The judging panel, formed by Bennett, Village Idiot, Julian and myself, will judge all jokes based on their relevance to the topic, their overall impact (punch line) and their tastefulness.

Guidelines:

• Appropriate content is a must, no profanity or obscene content. Adult humor is not welcome, minor sexual reference is allowed.*
• No racial slurs/ references.
• Must pertain to the subject of Christmas, The Holidays and or Winter.
• Joke must be textual, no videos or pictures (with the exception of comic strips)

Judges will use their discretion for submission content, 1 warning and then disqualification from all contests will be the result of any infractions.

This contest will end midnight Tuesday, December 5th 2006. Winner will be posted and contacted Wednesday December 6th.

*No warning will be given for infraction.
We also reserve the right to change any of the guidelines, rules or contest end date/times at any time at our discretion

This contest is brought to you by:
http://humorsoftware.com

Q. Why do so many Mathematicians get Christmas and Halloween confused?
A. Because Oct 31 is Dec 25

Why are the American elves sad?





Because Santa is outsourcing this year!

First Entry:

Question: Why did the jelly bean go to school?
Answer: Cause he wanted to be a smartie.

Question: What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?
Answer: Claustrophobic.

First Entry:

Q: What do you get if Santa goes down a chimney where the fire is still on?

A: Crisp Cringle

Second Entry:

One day a man walked into a bar and sat down next to a guy with a parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender said, "Cute parrot, does he talk?"

The guy with the parrot says, "He does more than just talk, watch." The guy lit a match and placed it under the parrots left foot. Then the parrot started singing "Jingle Bells", it was a Christmas Parrot.
The guy then placed the match under the right foot and the parrot then started to sing "The 12 days of Christmas."

The bartender said, "That's incredible". He then asked, "What does he say when you place them between his feet?"

The guy said, "You know I never tried that, let's see."

When the match was placed between the feet of the parrot the parrot began to sing a familiar tune... "Chesnuts roasting on an open fire."

It was Christmas and the judge was in a very merry mood. He asked the prisoner, "What are you charged with?" The prisoner replied, "Doing my Christmas shopping too early." "That's no crime," said the judge. "Just how early were you doing this shopping?" "Before the store opened," answered the prisoner.

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs: "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE...I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..."

His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."

To which the little brother replied, "No, but grandma is!"

Sorry, but I was just wondering if we have to make up the jokes, as otherwise, it wouldn't be much of a competition.. I'm just asking because more than half of these jokes are on joke websites. :\ I heard them repeatedly throughout the year.

Agreed, also the judges may have a sway towards particular people.