[Christmas Promotion Day 2] Your best Christmas Joke!

Greetings members!

We have teamed up with a number of great companies in order to provide the prizes for this competition and would like to take this moment to thank them for their contributions.

The prizes available in this promotion are as follows:

2 custom designed banners donated by http://www.bannersmall.com - worth $55

1 year hosting on the hatchling plan donated by http://www.hostgator.com - worth $83

1 copy of bannermanage advertising software donated by http://www.bannermanage.com - worth $40

10,000 targeted visitors donated by http://www.pureuniquetraffic.com - worth $50

Flash web hosting tutorials donated by http://www.demodemo.com - worth $100

Icon set donated by http://www.designmood.com - worth $50

Custom mascot design donated by http://www.castlemelody.com - worth $100

Gamescript + 3 games bundle pack donated by http://www.gamescript.net - worth $230

Custom web site design, banner + logo donated by http://www.fiveinteractive.com - worth $200

1 copy of phpaudit donated by http://www.phpaudit.com - worth $99

1 copy of clientexec and 1 copy of publishexec donated by http://www.clientexec.com - worth $125

PLUS donated by Talkfreelance:

1 Vbulletin leased license
1 Domain
Sitepoint book of your choice
Cash prizes
Advertising worth over $400!

I wish everyone the very best of luck in the Christmas promotion!

Day 2 - Your best Christmas Joke?

The second contest is for the chance to win the prize hidden behind the 5th door on the Talkfreelance advent calender, in order to be in with a chance of winning this prize you need to reply below with your best Christmas Joke! The contest will close at 12am (midnight) when the next contest will be posted.

Rules

- Each member is entitled to multiple entries.

- You cannot use the same joke another member has submitted.

- The winner will be decided by the staff, try and make us laugh!

Good luck everyone! :reindeer:

Can these be stories or do they have to be simple jokes?

As long as it's a christmas joke, it doesn't matter how long it is

The three wise men arrived to visit the child lying in the manger. One of the wise men was exceptionally tall, and bumped his head on the low doorway as he entered the stable.
"Jesus Christ!" he shouted.
Joseph said, "Write that down, Mary; it's better than Clyde!"

A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas.

After hearing about this extravagant gift, a friend of his said, "I thought she wanted one of those sporty four-wheel-drive vehicles."

"She did," he replied. "But where was I going to find a fake Jeep?"

Entry #1

Screw the "nice" list -- I've got you on my "naughty" list!

Entry #2

Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down?

A: He was waiting for the snow blower.

One particular Christmas season a long time ago, Santa was getting ready for his annual trip ... but there were problems everywhere.
Four of his elves got sick, and the trainee elves did not produce the toys as fast as the regular ones so Santa was beginning to feel the pressure of being behind schedule. Then Mrs. Claus told Santa that her mom was coming to visit.
This stressed Santa even more. When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two had jumped the fence and were out, heaven knows where. More stress. Then when he began to load the sleigh one of the boards cracked and the toy bag fell to the ground and scattered the toys. Needless to say Santa wasn't in the best mood.
Just then the doorbell rang and Santa went to the door expecting another problem. He opened the door and there was a little angel with a great big Christmas tree there just to cheer Santa up.
The angel said, very cheerfully, "Merry Christmas Santa. Isn't it just a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Isn't it just a lovely tree? Where would you like me to stick it?"
Thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

falco, that is GREAT haha!

Two daughters had been given parts in a Christmas pageant at their Church. At dinner that night, they got into an argument as to who had the most important role.

Finally the 14 year old said to her 8 year old younger sister, "Well, you just ask Mom. She'll tell you it's much harder to be a virgin than it is to be an angel."

It's Christmas Eve and Santa arrives at this beautiful young woman's apartment. She takes one look at Santa and decides that she needs to make love to Santa.

She say s "Oh Santa, won't you stay the night?" Santa replies, "HO, HO, HO, Gotta go! Gotta Go! Gotta deliver those toys, you know."

The young woman tries to tempt Santa again by letting down her long silky hair and begs, "Oh Santa, now won't you stay?" Santa again replies, "HO, HO, HO, Gotta go! Gotta Go! Gotta deliver those toys, you know."

The young woman tries one last time. This time she opens her house robe and reveals her beautiful body. She then asks, "Oh Santa, won't you please stay." Santa, now becoming aroused, replies, "Hey, Hey, Hey, Gotta Stay! Gotta Stay! Won't fit up the chimney THIS way!"