Hi James. I'm going to really give you some feedback here as I think it'll help you in the long run, so please forgive me if you think I am coming off as harsh...I am not, I am simply being straight forward.
Overall, I feel like this design is from 1995. It seems cheap, not well executed, and looks like it was made using fireworks and not photoshop. You have to use real life logic when building a site. It's got to have uniform theme, and you've got to give a reason for why things are happening in your composition - especially since you are going for such an abstract look.
Here are my thoughts:
- You've got to redo the clouds. It seems you just lowered opacity, or simply changed the blending mode on it. It doesn't work, looks washed out, and seems extremely cheap. I'd create my own clouds. Look for some tutorials, but you'll mainly be using Filter -> Render -> Clouds, and then brushing/erasing away the areas you don't need/want.
- Why is there source code in the sky? I know it's a design decision, but it doesn't work for web design. It may work for a book cover or something, but definitely not here. By giving your logo/header perspective, as if it is flying out of the sky, you are now stating that the background is a part of the main composition - meaning it's got to make sense.
- Because you've given the header/logo perspective and the effect of it shooting from the clouds, you've now made the sky the focal point. My eyes can't help but look to where the vanishing point is, but once I look there, there's nothing there.
- Kill the perspective effect, or execute it better. What are the white rays coming out? It looks like it is just a part of the logo. Perhaps you should expand it and give many, many more rays. I did a similar effect using rays
here. As you can see, you can really get a feel for the "explosion" or burst. It gives it much more depth, action, and motion in a still piece.
- Are you using like, 6 or 8 point font? Use at least 12 arial, and if you MUST (only MUST) go under that, use 10 verdana, arial 10 bold, or 11 tahoma. Anything else won't work as effectively.
- Today's users don't need instructions when they see arrows. If they don't know they are clickable, then the designer needs to make that more obvoius.
- The arrows are poorly done, and need a lot of work. The opacity effect is tacky. I like the shape of the arrow, but don't like how you have them overlapping.
- Why does the opaque black background on your portfolio piece extend on the right side, but not on the left? Stay consistent. If you're trying to fade it out, you've executed it poorly because it seems more like a mistake, then a design decision.
- What is your point color? It seems very monotone and washed out, and I have nothing to look at or pay attention to. There is no hierarchy of information.
- Project details seems detached from the portfolio piece. I actually had no idea it had anything to do with it until I started writing this feedback and paying closer attention.
All in all, I think you need to do some more tutorial searching and trying to learn what looks good and what looks bad. Take a look at some award winning sites to draw inspiration. There is NOTHING wrong with inspiration, despite what everyone says. As long as you do not get overly-inspired, there are no limits.
What is positive though, is that you have a direction, and I feel as if you had the sky concept built out in your head. However, I think you need to sit down and think to yourself how to execute and pull the idea off, rather then hitting photoshop right away and trying to do it. Design is just as much about planning as it is about actually playing in photoshop.
Honestly, how long did this composition take you? I would guess no more then 1-2 hours. And if that's the case, you've really got to understand that real design work takes MUCH MUCH MORE time, if not DAYS/WEEKS. There is no simple way to designing, and you're going to learn that the hard way (I did too). Take more time and appreciation with your work, especially if its a personal piece.
Hope that helps James!