Dear Santa,

I've allways been wondering, how come you have such large white beard, and such curly hair? Is it just a part of your disguise, or are you so old that your hair has changed colour from something into black? All my friends say your beard is white because you've snorted so much dope, and then sneased it out on your beard, that your beard actually turned white. This is not true santa, is it? I hope not.
And how come you never grow older, or die? Are you immortal?

I've allways been thinking that you are God, because it would be fully natural for you to be god, because if you created the world, why wouldn't you want to care for the inhabitants, and you do give us presents.

My older brothers allways tell me that you're not for real, and that it is mom and dad who buy all the presents. But i know they're being silly, because neither mom, nor dad would be able to climb down our chimney, they would get stuck, and I think they both know that.

Last of all, i would like to tell you what I want for christmas (and maybe I could write what dad wants too, because I think he is too drunk right now):
- A shotgun (Dad)
- A cute dog (Me)
- 300 000 liters of nervgas (Dad)
- Sh*tload of ammunition (Dad)
- A spiderman suit (Me)
- A red little ball (similar to the ones they have at the downtown marketplace) (Me)
- World Domination (Dad)

Merry Christmas Santa,
Jake