Dear Santa,

I have kept this from you for a while now, but the truth must be told as I can not contain it much longer. Ever since the age of 14 I have wanted to squeeze your ass, I love the way it jiggles when you run, I love the way the light reflects off those modern trousers you wear and it is not only my dream .. but I believe it is my destiny to have a squeeze and I shall stop at nothing. I have plenty more compliments but these can only be told once I get my hands on a prize, you know it makes logical sense.

Yours Squeezingly,
Me