Dear Santa,

This might come as a suprise to you. But remember that tiny chimney you tried fitting through last year? Yes, I have photo of your naked butt. Now I don't think the Child Livil Rights Union are going to like these photos of your running around the neighborhood naked. I will gladly give these photos back, but only on one circumstance! I need the new GI Joe action figure under my Christmas tree by 12:00am sharp.

Sincerelly, Alex.